…the Riverboat Gamblers’ new EP, Smash/Grab, would have Bon Scott’s.

The Riverboat Gamblers’ new EP Smash/Grab

Released on July 12^th by Paper + Plastick the EP is a raw, muddy mix of the early, gasoline-infused Gamblers (particularly Something To Crow About – era Gamblers) and a bit of the cleaner, more polished style evident on 2009’s Underneath The Owl.  The two styles of Gamblers had different musicians; the current lineup welds the best of both together: with a dose of The Hellacopters and Skeemin’ NoGoods. (Maybe even some Dead Kennedys thrown in for good measure).

Songs by the Skeemin NoGoods, particularly “Punch The Clock”take no prisoners. The Gamblers EP’s opener “The Ol’ Smash and Grab” is no different.  Pushed along by a driving drum track, the song grabs you by the collar—never lets go—and sends the record off at top speed, giving you no chance to take one last look at the world behind you.  Then again, maybe you don’t want to look back.

The lyrics imply a criticism of the state of the world with its voracious appetite for the latest and greatest, without care for who or what gets in the way in pursuit of such things.   The second track, “Parasite Friends” has the brightest-sounding guitars out of the four songs on the EP and could have landed on the band’s last full-length release, Underneath The Owl.  Yet it has enough of the less polished sound to fit right in with the tracks on this EP.

Provided my dear old brain isn’t getting tricksy with me (a more frequent occurrence these days), the third song “Maggie Lea” has surfy Dead Kennedys-esque guitar lines…especially around the 0:47 and 1:18 marks.  I do enjoy the surf sound of this song.  The OCD part of me is still trying to figure out which Dead Kennedys song I’m hearing but there are so many.

(On a sorta-kinda-but-not-really-all-that-related note, have you seen McSweeney’s OCD Valentines? They’re classics!  Such as this one: “Roses are red, violets are blue. Sugar is sweet, and I think I left the iron on.”)

The fourth and last track on the EP “Anything But You” is a full minute of fury, the fuzziest on the EP.  Its frantic energy would easily find a home on an early Riverboat Gamblers album: either their 2001 self-titled or 2003’s Something To Crow About.

After repeated listens I still have no idea what the lyrics are except “whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh” and perhaps I got even those words wrong.  Forget your coffee in the morning?  Play this once and you’ll be set.

If you’re curious about the EP it’s still up and streaming here although the tracks are reversed from the actual order on the EP.  (No worries though they sound great forwards and backwards.)  If this EP is a preview of what’s to come out of the Riverboat Gamblers down the road, I’m going to be like an excited kid waiting for Santa Claus to deliver the goods as we all wait for a full-length album from these guys.

Dear Santa:  Let there be rock.

Stacie

On Your Soft Nose Pau Gasol! I’ve never seen Phil Jackson go off like this…not good.

Jane Fraser from the Stuttering Foundation of America does a great On Your Nose job on Donald Trump! How does this guy still have any self-esteem left?

Donald Trump has been slammed by the Stuttering Foundation after the organization accused him of making derogatory remarks about those with the speech impediment.

The Celebrity Apprentice criticized Meyers’ speech delivery during the White House correspondents’ dinner, calling the SNL writer a “stutterer” during an appearance on Fox and Friends for failing to complete his talk without mistakes.

“Shame on you, Mr. Trump! We at the Stuttering Foundation find it discouraging that in 2011, Donald Trump has chosen to use the word ‘stutterer’ in a derogatory fashion, something to be made fun of, to describe Seth Meyers’ speech at the annual White House correspondents’ dinner,” said the foundation’s president Jane Fraser in a statement.

“In light of The King’s Speech and the new awareness it has brought to stuttering, we had hoped that this kind of unfortunate comment was a thing of the past. When in doubt about the eloquence of those who stutter, Trump should take a look at Winston Churchill, King George VI and James Earl Jones.”

Source.

Seth Meyers does a wonderful On Your Nose job on Donald Trump!

When 60 Minutes was finished with superstar philanthropist and U.S. military adviser Greg Mortenson on Sunday night, the author of Three Cups of Tea—a 2006 bestselling memoir of adventures and good works in Afghanistan and Pakistan—was in a million little pieces. Mortenson’s Pakistani host Mansur Khan Mahsud exposes his lies.

Correspondent Steve Kroft reported that key anecdotes in Mortenson’s inspirational narrative—which launched him as a humanitarian folk hero, attracted $60 million in donations to his nonprofit Central Asia Institute, and personally earned him millions of dollars in book royalties and lecture fees—appear to have been fabricated.

“Another hero bites the dust,” said MTV founder Tom Freston.

Full Story: http://tiny.cc/cgmva

After a car belonging to Allen Iverson was pulled over for a traffic violation, the former NBA star told the officer, “Take the vehicle, I have 10 more.”

Iverson was a passenger in the grey Lamborghini spied by an Atlanta officer changing lanes without signaling about 6 p.m. March 30.

The driver, Antwuan Clisby, couldn’t produce any documentation for the vehicle, then told the officer Iverson needed to leave the car to eat dinner.

The officer said no one was leaving until the investigation was done.

Iverson became “irate” at that notion, proclaiming, “I’m the (expletive) passenger.” The officer radioed for backup, and a second unit arrived.

Clisby and Iverson exited the car, and A.I. kept cursing at the officer, who informed him of his expired tags and that the car would be towed.

“Take it, I have 10 more,” Iverson said. “Police don’t have anything else (expletive) to do except (expletive) with me…Do you know who I am?”

The officer wrote in his report that he was just getting started: “For the next 20 minutes, Mr. Iverson went on and on about who he was.”

“I stated, ‘It really doesn’t matter who you are. You tried to conceal your vehicle with a fake drive-out tag due to you not paying for your tags.’”

Iverson then said, “I make more money than you will in 10 years.”
Clisby then asked, “Would you want to pay $10,000 for a tag?”

To his credit, Iverson later “came back and apologized for disrespecting the police,” the report said. “He stated he was just upset about his car.”

Clisby was cited for not signaling and for the expired tag.

This week Jessica Simpson discovered celebrity status doesn’t count when renewing your driving license at the Department of Motor Vehicles.

Simpson entered the office and passed by “regular folk” waiting in line: “Jessica didn’t want to sit with the average Joes. So she went to the front desk and asked in a low voice if she could have access to a private room while waiting for her number to be called.”

Turns out, the employee wasn’t impressed by Simpson’s fame, and answered her in a loud voice: “Miss Simpson, we didn’t do that for the governor and we certainly aren’t doing it for you!”

The singer was on the verge of tears as she went to find a seat. Her name was called two hours later.

“Jessica pouted and scowled as she sat with her arms folded and stared straight ahead, kicking her foot. But hopefully she learned…everyone gets treated the same way at the DMV.”

Some fine acting from Chris Bosh. Maybe he shoulda gone to LA instead…

Once again, as always, On Your Nose LeBron James.

On Your Nose Fountain Lady!

For anybody who has had to be slowed down by people in the mall “walking” and texting, this is just great!

In the future: MOVE! GET OUT THE WAY! PAY ATTENTION to everything and everyone around you!

On Your Nose Fountain Lady, high five common sense! Sigh…now I’m hungry for a pretzel from Auntie Annes!

“Russia overcame a three-goal deficit in the third period to stun Canada 5-3 in the gold-medal game Wednesday night.” This from a nation that lives and breathes hockey. On Your Nose Canadian nation of hockey!

We're No. 1! We're No. 1! We're No. 1!

Great sticker from NYC…On Your Nose Batman!

On Your Nose Batman!

Man this Blake Griffin kid is just getting it done in the air, this season. Awe. Some. On Your Nose gravity, that’s for always keeping us down!

Super fun clip from last night’s NBA game Knicks Vs. Heat. Amar’e Stoudemire dunks on LeBron James, great On Your Nose moment: